However, I do return to you bearing gifts. The first I had actually forgotten I'd seen, but was recently reminded by visiting Media Sheep. Upon reflection, I probably had a minor stroke when I saw this movie poster for the first time, and thus as a sort of knee-jerk reaction my short term memory wiped the image from my recollection utterly. Such is the price one must pay when being slapped in the face by visuals of such potency, as crisp droplets of raw masculinity and distilled awesome slowly glitter in the air. Since I used the adverb "slowly," I suppose this metaphor is happening in slow motion, so let's throw some doves flying in the background, a la John Woo. Not that this poster needs any verbal augmentation:
Delicious.
The second gift brings us to the title of today's post. Come to think of it, it dovetails nicely with the whole "see something and have a stroke" point, which in turn uses a figure of speech that touches upon the John Woo reference. I tell you, I don't plan this stuff. The language just...does it for me. And by "it," I mean "twist itself into a horrific parody of itself." Gotta love pronouns, eh?
Anyway, the WWE is teaming up with Mun2 (which I can only assume is short for Telemundo 2, in some sort of bizarre echo of MTV2) to provide one lucky girl with a wrestling themed quinceanera, complete with "WWE Wrestling Superstars Carlito and Melina to join the party." No, I'm not making this up; I'm not nearly that creative. For instance, I never would have thought that the perfect way to celebrate a 15 year old girl's coming of age is to watch someone pretend to punch someone else in the face a few dozen times, while her uncle gets too drunk and tries to body-slam his brother-in-law off the roof of the house, demolishing a folding table in the process and ensuring he's never invited anywhere socially ever again. But then I read that "Only girls age 15 (or turning 15 in 2008) to age 21 are eligible," and I blacked out. So, just to clarify, WWE Raw and Mun2 are teaming up to potentially give a 21 year old woman the 15th birthday party she always dreamed about, and apparently has been obsessing over for nearly six years since. Don't believe me? Enjoy the commercial below, and be sure to savor what is apparently the polarized ends of the teenage girl spectrum: a blond cheerleader and some sort of squarish, Ugly Betty sort of girl in boy's clothes:
I hear that the new American Gladiators will give a lucky octogenarian with serious bone density problems a vicious ass beating for his next birthday. Neil Patrick Harris will host the festivities, and personally grill the unicorn shanks...and for a nominal fee, Lindsey Lohan will snort the powdered unicorn horn in the bathroom.
1 comment:
wow, 3 weeks away from grad school and teaching has fried my brain! i had to read the post 2 times to make any sense of it! lol
too much time in the oc, i suppose ;)
(i can't get the video to work either.. i think it's the mac.. i'll keep trying though!)
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