Damn You, Thermodynamics!

To quote the caveman with the boom mic when Geico first explained just how easy their insurance is: NOT COOL!


Really? A second time? Because I swore this happened about two years ago, and you'd think the replacement hardware they send you wouldn't succumb to the identical malfunction of the aforementioned console/paperweight, but who am I to question their hardware engineers or their business model? After all, I didn't go to ITT Tech, nor am I mandated by state or federal law to wear a helmet when I ride in a car. I similarly lack the distinct, sloping brow or the trademark vacant stare as I gaze across the plains looking for predators only to realize it's my computer wallpaper. I have never attempted to impress anyone by smashing anything on my head, nor do I grope the air with my hairless paw while watching a 3D movie. In short, I'm not a fucking Microsoft engineer, so obviously I wouldn't know anything about putting out a product that's suffered from the same fundamental problem for going on four years now. No, those fellers are much, much too smart for the likes o' me. I just run Chrysler.