Florida Man Becomes Front-Runner for Badass of the Year Award

What would you do if you were taking your pet for a swim and a shark suddenly grabbed the poor little furball and took him beneath the murky surface of the waves? We all probably have a few romantic notions of our potential, illusory heroism, but I wager a fair percentage of us might just squander those few precious seconds immediately after the abduction staring at the water stupidly, trying to wrap our heads around what the fuck just happened.

Greg LeNoir (aka "The Black," unless my French is even worse that I believe) begs to differ. When his rat terrier Jake was encompassed almost completely by the jaws of a shark and taken underwater, Greg dove straight in and punched the five-foot shark until it gave his dog back. The dive probably wasn't pretty, as his giant balls undoubtedly distort his center of gravity, but it's the results that matter--and the results are 100% undiluted "Awesome."

Greg LeNoir, I salute you. As, no doubt, does little Jake. Next time do us all a favor and don't take the little bastard swimming in shark infested waters. Moving out of Florida might be a nice start.