It's not easy finding someone to love. Or being green, but mainly the love thing. It certainly doesn't help that our culture perpetuates the idea of "the one," that wandering somewhere among the approximately 6.9 billion people on this planet is the single person with whom you are destined to bump uglies in perpetuity, not to mention the problematic assumption that they even occupied the planet at roughly the same time as us. What the hell are you supposed to do if your one true love was a thirteen year old French prostitute who died in 1843 after a brief engagement to a haberdasher? You cock your velvety chapeau at a jaunty angle, by god, and you soldier on.
In recent years, the interwebs have offered the would-be creepy uncles and cat-ladies of the world some succor in the form of dating sites. With a few clicks of a mouse, a scanned portrait of the pretty person whose picture came in the frame, and just the occasional descriptive liberty (like saying you're 'outgoing' as you prepare a website to do the "out" and "going" parts for you), you can make a love connection. Indeed, for every yin there is a yang (or so a cryptic and elderly Chinese gentleman told me, right after he refused to sell me a mogwai), and these sites promise to finally give you a win for your...even I'm better than that.
Ah, but what happens if you have a specific "type," one these cookie cutter dating sites just don't cater to? What if a man who wears Old Spice isn't enough, if instead you crave the hoary beard and seamanship of an old salt eye, a man whose rugged existence and long voyages from home breed certain, unspeakable predictions that dare only be indulged in the murkiest of international waters? Well, ladies, look no further: I give you Sea Captain Date.
Too good to be true, you say (no doubt between salty tears of joy)? Just watch this entirely authentic testimonial, and prepare to finally say "ahoy" to your heart:
1 comment:
I'll say it:
Wang.
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