Stay Classy, Laguna Beach

I realize I've been neglecting my blog for the better part of six months, but in my defense, it would have been longer if not for the good behavior and the knife fight I lost in the prison laundry last week. But now that I'm a free man again I can happily return to sporadic blog postings scattered across multiple weeks of silence.

I'll keep this one short, as I'm still easing back into the vacuous and glib persona you know and tolerate so well--it involves a knock-off Insane Clown Posse mask and a handle of gin, but that's neither here nor there. What is both here and there, so long as you live in Laguna Beach, CA, is this somber and pointed invocation of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s legacy:
Now, I realize it may not seem like it at first blush, but there are actually a number of things wrong with this advertisement. First of all, who the hell surfs that close to a tree? I call shenanigans. Secondly, isn't the shameless misappropriation of a Civil Rights leader's memory on the very day named for him worth a little more than 20%? I mean, we're talking Laguna Beach here; they can afford to shave a little more off the top.

Perhaps most egregious, though: All Black Products? Can't we be a little more specific than that? Especially because, closet racist that I apparently am, "black product" and "Surf shop" aren't really inhabiting the same patch of real estate in my mind. But maybe this is just because of my advancing years that I'm still sensitive to the lingering presence of institutionalized racism and broader, even defiant pockets of discrimination that are sadly alive and well today. After all, "The shop's young employees and patrons, [the shop owner] Cocores said, come from a generation that is beyond historical racial tensions." Phew! *wipes brow in an exaggerated fashion* Thank God that problem's past us. Now we can all just float in the surf holding hands on our new boards. Isn't this what King's dream was all about? Wet suits, black products, and 20% off. The respect is just the icing on the cake. Or, you know, ironic.