The Robot Apocalypse Inches Ever Closer, A Gelfling Astride Its Back

I know, I know, not long ago I was raving about the inevitabilities of the pending zombie apocalypse, and now here I am preparing to rave about the robot apocalypse creeping up behind us with its cold, glowing red eye staring at us unblinkingly. So what? I'm covering my bases. It's like the man who bets on both red and black on the same roll at the roulette wheel, except he always breaks even and looks like a jackass, while in this scenario we die or are enslaved. ...Okay, so maybe it's not the most accurate metaphor. Perhaps my abject terror is clouding my judgement.

It's not that there's yet another futuristic prototype finding corporate backing that threatens to bond man to machine in blasphemous parodies of coupling that make the soul blush and, like Adam and Eve, suddenly recognize its own nakedness. Though that's part of it. My larger concern is that our budding robot overlords are beginning to cull from my childhood in the least likely of places, and that I will not stand. Behold, if you dare: the Deux Ex Machina Motorcycle Exeskeleton, first runner-up for most pretentious invention name ever (it just lost out to the "Jesus Excelsior Christ" Crock pot). You really need to watch this thing in (simulated) action to get the full picture.

When it's completely extended, I suppose I can see the Tron reference, though to be honest you're never really gonna sell me on the comparison until the subject is glowing in some hideous shade of neon and is followed by a stream of solid, two dimensional energy. Call me a purist. But honestly, am I the only one who thinks this thing looks like a Landstrider from The Dark Crystal?

Do you know why the driver in the picture is covered head to toe, his reflective visor pulled down to obscure even his eyes? Because it's a Gelfling, thrust unceremoniously into the 21st century and determined to compensate for his weak, puppet physique by augmenting it cybernetically. This is not a pretty picture, my friends. These little bastards could already communicate feelings, thoughts, and impressions telepathically via their dreamfasting ability, and to make matters worse, they can communicate with savage, amorophous beasts like this:
Imagine what will happen when they replace those skewed, felt teeth with razor sharp fangs, or, God help us all, they actually attached a body to this thing. It'd be like having Chewbacca devour you whole, and I'm sorry, but if I'm going to be killed by a wookie, I'll have my arms ripped off for beating him at space chess, thank you very much.