Best.....Birthday.....Ever!

Those of you who frequent Ryan's blog More Rants than Raves no doubt saw his recent post about the crackhead who was stealing spark plugs in order to make crack pipes, courtesy of The Best of Craig's List. If you don't frequent his blog, it's funnier than mine, so check it out. Unlike me, who depends on his ponderous vocabulary and sardonic, downright mean observational humor, Ryan simply finds all the strange and funny things going on, and as they say, truth is funnier than fiction.

Anyway, he passed this little gem along to me last weekend, and I must say, it was like he had kicked aside some innocuous gravel to reveal a perfectly resplendent diamond in (appropriately) the rough. Indeed, I think they made a movie about something like that; I forget the title, but Leonardo DiCaprio dies in the end of it. Something about blood and diamonds. I think it was Titanic.

Despite my rambling, the point is not the subtle differences between his blog and mine, but rather this splendid post on Craig's List. I'd say something funny about it, but I don't want to detract from it's sheer genius:

We need an Adult Drunk Clown who is good at getting drunk and stupid. No need to do any clown tricks, just hang out and drink a shit load. We will be hopping around to different bars and want a clown to tag a long and drink heavely. He doesn't even need to socialize with anyone, just drink.
The birthday is on Friday, Sept. 5th in Bucktown. Oh, did I mention that the clown needs to get shitfaced. Don't worry, we will purchase all the drinks.

I have two words for these intrepid young men: Fucking and Awesome. These are the types of lads you see with their left legs cocked at an uncomfortable angle on Captain Morgan commercials. Drunk and clearly inspired frat boys, I salute you (if not your skills with spelling and punctuation)! Take a moment if you will, dear reader, and breathe in the sweet hilarity of this concept.

Now take a second to think about how this request gets exponentially creepier for each year you subtract from the birthday boy's age. Bon appetit.